Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
