the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
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all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
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I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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