i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
