? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
