Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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