Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
