Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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