well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Floor bacon is actually really good
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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