Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
