you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
