I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
