just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
