your parents love me but you hate me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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