I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
