watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
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Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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