Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
