I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
