my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
