Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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