I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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