U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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