I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
