is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize