im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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