I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize