Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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