I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
