I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
