Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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