I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
