thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize