Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm always down for nudity.
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