If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
