i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
