Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize