Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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