literally had 100 drinks last night.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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