can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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