I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
