Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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