Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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