Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize