why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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