If that was your dad, he is hot
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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