Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
