I need help removing her.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I can text with my tongue
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
