drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Randomize
