I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
