i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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