they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize