Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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