I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
