Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
