dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
